My thoughts & Life not so good.



Do you ever want to rewind your life.... I do....means I want to rewind it many times.
But obviously it’s my realistic natural life which is not a drama ....so it won’t change.
These days I am so much busy that I don’t have time to curse my boss or anyone. I am just busy with my work...and my self...but there are so many situations happening around me that I wonder why???  Like; Bakara banane main hi meli.
Ok ...so here it goes.... (But before reading further ....post .... I would request my new readers to please read my earlier post to understand ... my situations)
My last post was about a kiss...yes! Yap ....I actually, wanted to kiss him....but I am holding my dirty mind to myself only.... because its youth and you are single lady ...with a risk. (Many people, while reading it may say “ye ladki kitni bakwaas kar rahi hai”) but the truth is it’s my periods.... and I am feeling like that ...sometimes it’s called hormones.
Ok. I don’t want to  disclose much of my relationship status but yes.... I am in confusion....
I do have some relationship goals...but when I see some people around me...I think its all sucks.
Living free is far much better.
I have reason behind it....
Actually, if you have read my some earlier post you may know...That I am living in a rented house ... and my landlord who is also my co worker lives in down floor of my room.
I actually don’t want to get involve in his personal matters ... but, as I am their neighbor cum tenant... I have to meet them regularly... I have started liking my new landlady....although she is still awkward. But now I understand her as a woman.
And I have become friendly with her... when she discusses her marriage life with me ... and her relationship with sir, (“what I call my land lord...”) I actually pity her ... I think all husband try to be bossy around their wife....or I should say-“ they want their wife to adjust quickly”. But in case of my landlord I feel there are things he want as husband from his wife, but he want them so quickly that his wife couldn’t understand...
And I am actually witnessing all that.....these are the reasons I don’t believe in marriage...now, but I still want a partner.

The reason is ...I am bored living alone ... I can easily get a roommate ... but I want permanent (lifelong) one...
A lot of time, life sucks! Like, sometimes I wake in the night and find a rat sitting beside me staring me ... yes, it not a dream...
I live with all kind of creatures...a lizard...rat ,mosquitoes... birds squirrel ... not to forget mentioning   ghost... which make all kind of sound from walls....in my room .
Sometimes I feel that if I am crazy...but no! ... I do have some mental issues but no! I am not that  mad.
Then ...I think about how I should keep myself busy with work....but there also my boss doesn’t leave a chance to let me live in peace.....because I am an accountant... I need to hear him...whether; I understand it, or; it is going over my head... I have to do things his way....
My co-workers are good unless they want something from me... and if they want their work to be done by me they actually make me feel like a machine... and keep pressing my temper buttons. 
So, this is my review.....of the week.
PS. About kissing my boyfriend....it was all my imagination. My boyfriend and I have, never-ever have touched each other.... I am still a nun...in his eyes.😥😫

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