Love should be real

A lot of times I wonder…will it matters to you.  Or how important I am in your life….I have accepted that it's doesn't matter how  much time we spend together. We are simply trying something to find in each other.
Last time we spend  a little time together…you know it could be more of us together…if you haven't went to play cricket…because I asked you in advance about your schedule.
It shows your commitment…and that's why I don't trust you.
The three Samosas I bought for you …the one which you ate,  the  other which I ate and the third was for sharing our love. That's the  reason I was insisting it that you should eat it.
Last Friday you messaged me….a very rare case…it's was because I simply wooed by your profile pic. And gave 😍gazing look to it.. I complimented you..although I was busy at work.  When you replied….I was like “ok he is there.” I was happy that you some time prefer me…
But than I am worried because everything about you is occasional …you don't show to me what I am to you. This Sunday I was thinking of asking you out…but you have already said you would be busy.   You know what I was thinking about ;a movie date …simply because I wanted some time with you. It's ok now…because I don't mind you at all…As soon as, I would realize that you don't worth it anymore ; I would walk out…because I don't like to waste time on people . Because, I know; it would not affect you at all..   reason are so obvious
• You don't bother me…messaging me that how I am doing  .  It ok! I feel the same when, l want to ignore you online.
• You don't behave like my boyfriend….it's ok because you don't worth it(sometimes),  I am also not serious about it.
• We never had any cozy moments. And whatever we had it was because, I was purposely checking on you  .
• Have I ever cried in front you ….I think no. So it's a tip-" girl cry in front of those persons with whom ,they want to share their weakness/ worries."
• I have never bought any gift for you  .. nothing even though I am earning…it may be because ,I have not felt that feeling.
So,it may be cleared to you…that I am not trying to be close to you…unless you are  try trying. .

P.S. lately I am feeling a bit bored of love story...I wish I could write something real.

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